The day after...

Saturday 5th April
Somehow managed to sleep. Chris looks grey, drawn and has barely spoken. I spent my waking hours formulating a letter of response to Medair in my head. All that came to mind was how unfair it all was and how powerless we were to do anything about it. If we wrote our side of the story would anyone listen?

I know many are thinking, so what did we do wrong? What reasons were we given to justify our immediate termination? This isn't the place to go into all the details but the main reason given was poor construction quality of the household latrines in Aceh. This would mean extensive remedial work at significant cost to Medair and a redeployment of staff.
There are lots of reasons for not achieving the programme's goal and while Chris was the overall guy in charge of the country programme there were also other layers of staff involved and a history that pre-dated our arrival by many months. The reason for me having to leave were less obvious as I had limited involvement in Aceh. However, with the focus now back on Aceh there would be less funding available for new projects, an area I had been working on. Also it was felt that there was a conflict of interest if didn't leave too; being married to the boss and all. Issues about our management style were also mentioned.

I already had a date at the hairdressers with Laurie that morning for a “cream bath.” This is an hour of head massage, hair moisturising and steaming. They throw in a bit of a neck and back rub too. I thought the treatment might help me de-stress. It did help me switch off a bit but when I looked in the mirror and saw how drained I looked a feeling of self-pity overwhelmed me. Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried desperately not to let them spill over. The thought of Chris back home in total despondency made me sink inside. Feeling sorry for yourself is a dangerous place to go and I knew that I had to be strong, at least in public.